Striving for a Better Day…
December 31, is one of my favorite days because psychologically I get to reset. I realize, in reality, I wake up the next morning like every other day. On paper, it is a new beginning. I grew up in the 80’s and in a time and class which we were pushed to be an overachiever. My class was full of overachievers which shaped my beliefs into adulthood and led to some realizations. As a Nurse Practitioner, I see patients all the time who are overwhelmed and the moment I ask them a question they are in tears. They feel they have no control in running their life. I see this problem all the time. It affects individuals, couples, and families. Scenario #1. Moms may be running from work to sports/ band practice several nights a week- eating out of a drive-thru and feeling fatigued. She doesn’t make time for relaxation or for date night because there is always something with the kids going on. This is probably the biggest category I see of overstressed individuals. Scenario # 2. Caregivers who never get a break. It’s not your fault. You have someone to look after 24/7. There really isn’t a break. Scenario # 3 You live alone. You don’t get out- by your choice and you are lonely. You aren’t doing anything fun for yourself and have plenty of time to do it. Scenario #4. Working a lot and not balancing your play and rest time.
What’s the solution in all these scenarios? It’s rebalance. Rebalancing the superhero mentality. For the mom who is overstressed, fatigued, and lighting the candle at both ends- you are not helping yourself. You need a night to unwind, relax, and do whatever it is you want to do for you. It might be 4 hours in locked in the bedroom with a good book and your favorite snacks. It might be going for a hike. It might be a massage. But whatever it is, it is your time and uninterrupted by children or spouse. This is vital for your mental health. For the caregiver, you need a person you can trust to help you. Whether it’s family or someone you pay. Otherwise, you will burn out mentally. You need time for your own health care appointments, mental relaxation, and time to visit with support people. For the last scenario, you have so much time but choose to stay secluded and miserable. And this applies to those who are miserable and are seeking help. I am going to suggest you start by volunteering somewhere. But get out of your house and start enjoying your life. Make a difference. Do a hobby you enjoy doing. Take the step to be around people. For those that work hard, you need to spend time playing hard to balance.
All of these solutions just require one change at a time. Just take the first step. I ask my patients to put these times for themselves on their calendars as a contract to themselves. Make it something you would enjoy doing that is obtainable in your time frame and do it on a consistent basis. It’s amazing how much more in control you feel of your life when you control your schedule.
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